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14 thoughts on “THE SOUL’S WAY”

  1. Another marvelous blog, a calm voice of reason in these ever so troubling times.
    How can we understand and interact positively with those diminishing few who still support this monster Trump?
    I believe it was Edmond Burke who said “When good men do nothing, anarchy reigns”.
    The global outlook, driven by greed and extreme prejudice, is disheartening to say the least.
    Keep up your good work!

    1. Thanks John. Burke’s words were judged by the Oxford Dictionary to be one one of the most popular quotes of modern times. What Burke actually said (in 1770), however, I think is even more important: “When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.” This more affirmative statement highlights what good men (and women obviously) have to do in the face of evil: come together (and generate a creative response) or miss the moment and simply ‘fall one by one’. I am seeing people coming together. In our own town of Lewisboro, we unanimously adopted a proclamation declaring ourselves a ‘welcoming community’ to all our residents. And some of us are already taking the next steps of convening our ‘different’ neighbors in order to learn how to live this proclamation.

  2. I am so very moved by today’s writing, Danny. I could even hear your lovely accent in the words. Your presence and the way you communicate are ever present in this writing. I dropped out of my morning of work to really be there as I read this transforming experience you so eliquently described. As I mindfully felt what you were had written, I recollected a painful episode I was involved in last week in the healthcare system where I work. During the meeting to discuss a medical case I suggested that folks who treat women with opioid addiction were using negative words to describe her affect. Some physician took issue with it and then told me I was hurtful to the resident who was involved in the care of a patient who had lost her fetus and needed a hysterectomy. I know that I became defensive, yet my mindfulness training enabled not to fight back. However, I was not passive either but rather tried to defend myself. Today, after reading your writing I see that I was defensive and that I could have simply listened. By being defensive, I hurt me too, and I allowed my heart to be hurt by someone else’s words. I spend several days wondering how this could have gone better and sitting in that awkward place of wondering if I did something wrong, awful, or painful.

    I sense that this is a common experience for folks and that the missing piece of my healing was in the lack of self-compassion for me. I read today a story about Tara Brach and her realizing that she inadvertently said something that hurt someone. She found a way to heal and to reach out to the person genuinely. She began my befriending herself. Taking a moment to acknowledge that she was experiencing pain as well from the experience. She found a way to comfort herself. Recently my mindfulness teacher, suggested that we hold our own hand when we are feeling sad, angry, disappointed, etc.

    As I sit with being self-compassionate I then came to wonder how I might have another conversation with the folks at the meeting where this transpired. My chaotic worrying was replace with curiosity. I wondered if the conversation could open all of us to healing and treating women in substance use differently. I feel concerned about the resident who might have been hurt by our discussion in the meeting but rather than feel guilty and needing to fix it I feel detached and hopeful that we could share a common goal.

    Listening as you suggest in this writing is so healing and I also believe is the “soul’s way.”

    1. Diane, thank you for your honest and vulnerable sharing: this is the spirit of the ‘meditation-dialogue’ I described. The ‘befriending oneself’ that you describe seems like the foundation for an ‘aware listening’ that brings the interaction to another level of possibility. Someone at a recent meditation-dialogue spoke of the healing that happened when someone simply brought their actual ‘inability to help’ (and even their fear of being around the problem). It felt very real and completely mysterious….

  3. Hmm, I love this. It seems a careful sharing in dialogue, is a careful emptying of our souls experiences and insights into a common mixing bowl. Two things happen. Those in the dialogue make good bread together. And God replaces our now emptied ingredients with new ones, ready to be shared again, and feed others again

    1. It’s a helpful image Stephen. I’ve often used a comparable image of a cooking pot which like your mixing bowl into which all the different perspectives/ingredients are emptied (without one trying to convince or absorb the other). In the case of the cooking pot, you can add the image of fire that heats up the mixture to cook something new (as you also imply). In this case, the container – which consists of trust and skill, and experience – needs to be constantly strengthened in order to hold together when things get hot as they will often do when real differences are brought together.

  4. We do not do enough LISTENING… to ourselves or others. We do not participate in SILENCE enough. Connecting, exploring and discovering comes from those simple acts. This is beautiful, Danny.

    1. Thank you for your great work, Bobbe, which reflects the spirit of this Blog. I think we in Bedford and Lewsiboro, NY – and other towns – are finding ways of bringing this kind of interaction to our communities to make them true ‘welcoming communities.’

    1. Thanks Ally for this reflection. It certainly captures what I’ve been exploring: what it means to know. So much of our knowing is simply a projection of mostly unconscious assumptions. I’d love to hear what other people think…

  5. Danny, I delayed my response because I wasn’t sure that I was able to follow your shining path….my passion often seems to disable my intent to engage in dialogue effectively. But I have been able to engage a process which will educate public managers of stormwater ponds (an outmoded technology, which however exists in the hundreds of thousands as a result of previous development rules regarding the rain). The Forum and subsequent probable move to change existing state rules, will be inspired by the commitment to become ‘part of the earth’ in our approach to land and water restoration. I will hope to move in that direction! Gratefully, Anne

    1. Isn’t fascinating how passion can get in the way of dialogue? Like any strong emotion, I suppose. Perhaps the challenge is learning how to work with what is clearly energy. Timing is everything they say….or some say. Of course establishing common ground – like the shared commitment you mention to ‘become part of the earth’ – is critical. Keep us all posted on your efforts Anne.

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