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  1. Dear Danny,
    In your first paragraph, I feel a vibration of frustration, which I share: Conversations, even among friends, often are nothing else but blabla. I often wonder why a conversation gets stuck at this level, even for hours.
    The only explanation I can come up with is the fact that if you offer a piece of thought slightly more “profound” than blabla, you scare people. And where does this “Angst” come from? I guess that instinctively we all are uncomfortable if a “dialogue” might take us out of our “comfort zone”.
    This comfort zone is surrounded by “walls” supposed to impede unpleasant emotions arising in us. But ever so often “life breaks in” creating cracks, through which the light slips in. So instead of being afraid that this light might blind us, we could, in a sense, prepare ourselves to accustom our eyes, ears, but foremost our hearts, to share the suffering and hold this field of tension without trying to change anything. As we get accustomed to this new light, we might even experience wonder and enchantment, because leaving one’s comfort zone is always a teaching the Universe offers us.

  2. Erik,
    You are right about the fear/anxiety, wherever it comes from, that so obstructs connection. Parker Palmer in his book about helping each other access a deeper self or truth (there are, of course, others who explore this area) speaks about creating a safe place where this is more likely to happen. Though you’re right about the need for life to break in and crack open, even a little, our protective walls. I do like your thought that preparing ourselves for this experience ,which is inevitable in any case: getting our hearts accustomed to the light, preparing ourselves to simply stand in this light without having to change anything. I do think we are, in fact, made for this….Danny

  3. Brilliant. Yes, I have indeed experienced that deeper exchange Le Guin describes – and hope that everyone has at some point. Perhaps we begin as infants, when our dialogue is not so dependent on the conventions of language, but there is no denying the deeper exchange!

    1. Hi John, as you say, ‘there is no denying the deeper exchange..’ And all of us, I’d imagine have experienced it in some form and even realized that this is important: more real, more … All the more reason to explore how to access this level of experience more deliberately: an obligatory course in school/college??

  4. Glad your Muse re-appeared! Many thanks for very interesting info and reflection! Yes, I’ve experienced these self-sharing kinds of deep conversations, however, it’s fascinating to think about how rare the instances are… For them to happen, it seems to me there has to be high levels of trust already established between/among the participants, and that they are very intentional together about wanting to move beyond the usual constructs of conversation, and being very open to wherever that leads. This requires a certain kind of environment too – not the usual circumstances of daily interactions, work, etc. with time constraints & schedules. I’ve often wondered about the vibrations I feel with poetry, which seems like a conversation, and whether this is a kind of dialogue between what I’m reading and inner realities… Look forward to more on Inner Dialogue/Self Talk!

    1. Thanks Sue. Isn’t it a pity that these experiences are so rare. Given the facts – of our essential interconnectedness, for example – you’d think it would be the most natural thing in the world. What constrains our desire to move beyond the usual constructs of conversation, as you call them; and what causes our unwillingness to be open to the adventure of ‘whererever that leads?’ You’d think it the most natural thing in the world. And perhaps – given children’s readiness and willingness to do this – we have indeed talked ourselves out of it. Now there’s the pity. It requires ‘a certain kind of environment’ you add: the kind of environment either forced on us by circumstances (a ‘recovery program’) or chosen (an intentional community). Certainly the poets are an inspiration and a support in terms of language and concepts: I’ve heard it said that a good poem is one that we find ourselves saying ‘yes’ to, essentially because we recognize that the poet is saying.

  5. Danny,
    Hello and thank you for these thoughts.

    I think the “real” conversation is going on under the protective cover of the words. Examples of “special environments” for me are the conversations I have with animals (my cat, the local Canadian geese, dogs, etc.). I am interested that the exchange is energy that is clear and understandable and holistic — often clearer than the words which I add later. Practicing these conversations sharpens my attention to the non-verbal energy exchange that goes with human conversations

    1. Hi Gayle. I think you’re right about how words are only – and sometimes hardly – reflective of the deeper conversation which is why we should use them with at least more intention. In a similar way I like your thought that the words which I add later to my experience are often not as clear or holistic as the exchange of energy which is why I agree with you about the importance of practicing the often deeper conversations with animals or trees in order to sharpen attention to the non-verbal energy that also goes on in human conversations. Take a look at the next post to see if it relates to this…

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